In June, the sisters of St Francis washed their collective hands of me when I graduated from St George. Their dedicated work to make me see the error of my ways and show me my place among god’s chosen failed miserably. I gave up asking for god’s help that summer knowing that he had turned a deaf ear to someone as screwed up as I was. My Dad was still MIA and I KNEW it was because of me. Whenever I would ask mom about him she said he was overseas and couldn’t get any leave time.
I was never a participant in school, I avoided group activities like the plague because I just never seemed to fit in. I was the round peg in the square hole. I was never allowed to do any extracurricular activities. I wasn’t athletic or good at any sport. I didn’t make a lot of friends in school because the guys and the girls thought I was weird. I had one friend John who had a paper route and every day after school I would help him with that. It was so odd because we could go hang out in his basement after school and for some reason his mom seemed to like me. It was John who inspired me to learn to play guitar. He started taking lessons at this very cool music academy on Ewing avenue and had this gorgeous guitar that sounded so amazing. I asked mom if there was some way I could take lessons like John and she said she didn’t have any money. So I did odd jobs and saved some money and bought a guitar ($18.50) from a place called Sears and Roebuck (yes, you could buy just about anything from their catalog back then). It came with a case and a book called the Mel Bay Primer for guitar. I was in love from then on. I taught myself how to play and read music. Playing guitar probably saved my life several times. I didn’t need friends or family… I could get lost in my guitar all by myself. One time, I went with John to his guitar lesson just to look around. I was just blown away with the beautiful instruments that all the kids my age had. I just kept playing my old Silvertone and worked at getting better. I started picking up bits and pieces songs on the radio. WLS was the rock and roll station in Chicago and I listened to it a lot. That Silvertone kept me from walking into Lake Michigan a few times.
That same summer, it seemed like most of kids in my class from grade school were going to St Francis De Sales high school. A few had even been smart enough to go to Mendel Preparatory School. I begged and pleaded with my mom to go to St Francis. She said “No, I’m not wasting my money sending you there because you’re not smart enough. You are going to CVS (Chicago Vocational High School) to learn a trade so you don’t starve to death and you won’t live with me forever”
CVS was the largest high school in Chicago. In 1963, the student population was about 2500. It was a vocational high school that taught the fundamentals of several different trades like metal work, wood working, drafting, auto repair, etc. You had to participate in Physical Education at CVS which meant that every week you had to go to the pool. I dreaded that most of all because my entire PE class (about 100 boys) went swimming and it was school policy that no suits were to be worn in the pool. I learned to cut that class early and often. It was also my first experience being around black people. I learned they were just as lost as I was, just as lonely, just as frightened and had just as many questions as I did. They were not the three headed monsters my family had told me they were. We were all just kids trying to find our way…
I hated CVS, I just felt like I was lost in a sea of students and that no one cared. Most of my teachers said I had no business being there, that it was a waste of their time.
So I started to cut class. Instead of getting lost at CVS, I started taking the bus to the L platform on the south side and using my school bus pass I rode the train all day long. From 63rd street all the way to the end of the line on the north side. I found a way to get back on the southbound train without paying so that is what I did 5 days a week, back and forth instead of going to school. I would get home at the regular time and no one ever asked me how school was so this went on for a couple months.
One day, two men knocked on the door and asked for my mother. They asked if I was her son. They went on to tell her that I hadn’t been to school in months and that she was in trouble because of my attendance issues. I knew I was in trouble because my mother was home when I got there. Normally, she would have been at work. She told me that the truant officers had been there to speak with her about me cutting class and not going to school. She said we had to go to CVS to meet with the vice principal to determine my fate.
The following day, we met with the Vice Principal of CVS. My mother started the conversation by saying that I had always been a screwed up kid and she had long since given up hope that I would ever amount to anything. The vice principal added that he knew absolutely nothing about me because I had been in school so few times but he was of the opinion that I was “totally Incorrigible” and “beyond rehabilitation”. My mother agreed completely saying she was totally at a loss at to where to go from here. The vice principal said that she only had two choices, to put me in the juvenile center until I was sixteen of to send me to a disciplinary high school. She said that since I hated going to school so much that I should be made to go to the disciplinary high school from now on.
In Chicago, there is only one disciplinary high school.
It was located at 13th and Ashland avenue.
Moses Montefiore High School
My mother laughed when she heard and said “well, you should have a lot of fun there”. The vice principal reached into his desk and handed me two things. A bus token and a nickel. He said ” Use the bus token to pay your fare and use the nickel to get a transfer. You will have to take 3 buses to get to school and get home. Here is a list of the buses you need to take. When you report to school on Monday do not take any valuables, do not take a lunch, do not take any money, do not wear a watch, rings, jewelry or crosses, do not wear any expensive clothing or jackets. At the end of the day, your teacher will give you 2 bus tokens and 2 nickels to get you home and to school the next day. Do NOT lose these or give them way. If you miss one day of school, a warrant will be issued for your arrest and you will be remanded to the Cook County Juvenile Corrections Center until you are 16 years of age. This is your last chance.”
As we left the vice principal’s office, I was thinking how hard could this be?
The Girl Who Lives In My Heart 